Halifax - Picnicface and giant beer

Well the first stint in Halifax is done and we are hitting the Road soon.  I just wanted to pop on and say how much I enjoy this city.   I don't even think you can by a coffee in this city after 6pm, so you find yourself perpetually stumbly due to the constant assault of beer.  Note the giant beer photo here. Picnicface is a great Halifax based sketch group, (Check out their youtube vids), that also run a fun stand-up show every Tuesday at Yuk Yuks, and they were kind enough to let me do 20mins last night.  It is a fun alternative comedy show, with people trying something a little different which I always love. If you live in the 'fax and you are looking for something fun to do on a Tuesday then check out Picnicface @ Yuks.      www.picnicface.com Gerry Dee is also performing at Yuks in Halifax this weekend, and I recommend you all run out to get tickets for his show.  He's hella funny, as is the gentleman opening for him Stephen Patterson.

Let the travels begin!

I saw this in the airport, and it made me laugh.  In the Future cops will ride these in an attempt to be slower and slightly gayer!

Well today I left Los Angeles for the last time in my twenties.  That's right.  When I return home roughly 14 days from now I will be in my (Gulp) 30's!   I can already sense my hearing diminishing, and my penis becoming consistently more fl acid!  

I will however have my lovely shows to keep me busy :)  I begin a two week tour or the Maritimes for Investors Group.  Its this fun gig, where I get to perform in swank theatres with two other great comics, while drinking beer with the always charming east coasters.  I will try and keep this up dated for the trip, and I've learned how to do this bloggity thing from the ol'blackberry.  I've got a sweet 3.2 mgp camera on my curve phone which shall cause me to bore you with random things I see.  P.S. any RIM execs out there.  I made the switch from Iphone to Blackberry to support a cool Canadian company.  I've been in movies and on TV.  How's about some swag?  What's that you say?  Cancelled tv shows, and mediocre movies don't count?  Soon RIM.  SOON!  Wait till you see my new show "Bowling with the Amish"*.  Then I'll see that new Blackberry Storm in the mail.

*Bowling with the Amish not actual show.  Unless there is an exec out there who wants to make it in which case, lets make a deal

I am currently in the airport lounge in Toronto eating soup and debating if I should drink beer. I love free beer, but I don't really like to drink when I fly.  It is a tough debate, that beer shall probably win.  

If a million monkeys twittered long enough would they write Hamlet?

You know the old saying.  If you locked a million monkeys to a million typewriters long enough they would eventually type Shakespeare's classic play "Hamlet"?

Of course this is only to illustrate that in an infinite amount of time, anything and everything actually will occur.    In truth this point is undermined by the fact that they are using monkeys in their example, when everyone knows the mind wanders instantly at the mention of a chimp, simian, or ape.   I mean a MILLION MONKEYS!   They would get nothing achieved other then the greatest feces/ masturbation party of all times!

But lets assume that given long enough they monkeys would tire out from the constant copulation in their kingdom of typewriters and actually decided to master written word, how would that affect the question you posed about twitter?  If a million monkeys twittered long enough would they eventually type Hamlet?  The answer is no, because it is actually impossible to communicate anything with the program Twitter.

It is a pointless, pointless program.  I have yet to hear a single argument that has actually brought me on board with it.  "But Ryan, it is actually for news companies!".  Bullshit.  Reporters jobs are to tell stories, that have been researched, and have facts.  Not just.  "Pirates attack ship", or "Paris Hilton launches new fragrance in New York".  These aren't stories.  They are headlines.  You read a headline and then decide if  you want to read more.  The last thing the press needs is yet another excuse to be more lazy, and do less research.  

Also if Ashton Kutcher is the first person to get a million fans on Twitter, beating out CNN, doesn't that sort of invalidate any legitimacy twitter had.  I, on princable try to avoid anything that Ashton endorses.  Case in point, I never bought that camera he was selling, and I've never had sex with Demi Moore.  

Some people might say "Ryan, you are just jealous that you only have like 8 followers on twitter".  I would admit that it hurts to have so few, if only I could understand what I am actually getting twitter then I would perhaps put more effort in.  Right when I started to get multiple thousands of followers on Myspace, everyone jumped to Facebook.  Now that I've broken 1000 on Facebook it is starting to steer to twitter.  Enough!    Why do we keep jumping ship to sites that do more or less the same thing, and sometimes do it worse?  All you are doing is adding the same people you had in Myspace and Facebook, minus the ones who were smart enough to see this cycle early on and stayed put.  (Not friendster.  That site sucked donkey dick!!)

I am cyber pooped!  Between my computer and my Blackberry I am constantly doing status updates on facebook, tweeting on twitter, and checking to see if anyone wrote anything interesting on myspace (they haven't).  

So I'll keep tweeting because apparently I have to, but I will NOT like it.  Don't abandon Facebook yet friends.  I'm actually thinking about going back to Myspace.  You remember it right?  It was exactly like  facebook, but you could change the layout.  I miss my bikini clad spam telling me they were my fan, only to try and sell me on their T-shirt company.  Sigh.

Maybe I'll make twitter only for Haiku's.

HOTTTTT in LA

April 19th and it is hotter then Satans Ball sack!  100F  are you kidding me.  There is nothing for me to do, but lay on the couch sipping a slurpee, and dreaming of the days I my crotch wasn't so damp.  Moist to a point that ducks are trying to land on my chota!

Damn you Steve Jobs! DAMN YOU!

I love mac. They mac outstanding products, (albeit expensive) and it's all just so cool! Without Apple there would be no, ipod, no firewire, no final cut pro! That being said, I've begun the slow weaning off of the all mac all the time. I will still remain a dedicated fan of the sweet fruit that knocked Newton on the head, and the computer line named after it, however I will no longer be an "Only Mac Guy"

I find if you have everything under one roof it is easier in some ways, but you are bound to the whim of who ever owns said roof. Recently I gave up my iphone for a new blackberry 8900. Both are great phones, but I hated having to be with ATT. WAY too expensive. Also only 3 months after I got the iphone there was a new one that was even better. I didn't even own the coolest phone, which is a big part of the iphone appeal! When I should have been getting greed stares from envious people, I was getting pity stares for having the "Old" iphone! Damn LA hipsters! Fuck you and your pity, and your tasty espresso and your pink berry you... you hipsters! (Sigh)

I also went through three iphones. First one didn't work out of the box. Fine. That is the price you sometimes pay to get something new and cool. Second one fell from 2 feet and the screen smashed. It cost me 200 to replace it! Finally I just got sick of AT&T and switched back to T-Mobile for WAY less money. Also my little Blackberry is super cool, and does pretty much everything my iphone did, AND it is a Canadian company! YEAH! Go RIM!

I didn't hate my iphone. I'll probably get one of the later models that come out, and I did Unlock my old one and give it to Jenn. I just like supporting the competition sometimes, because it helps keep everyone working harder to make the best product. I no longer buy itunes music if I can help it because Amazon is cheeper and there is all DMR.

The biggest piss off came from mac announcing that they will no longer be running the iweb. This is a huge pain, because I have my website hosted with them and they are discontinuing it as of July. I paid till next year! WTF.

Suck it Steve Jobbs! Suck it hard! That being said, I still love you guys, and if Justin Long ever has.... and accident, I will gladly step in and take over his gig.

If anyone is a good web-designer hit me up. hello@ryanbelleville.com

Buffy, you sassy girl.

Hulu is a dangerous thing.  They put the first 3 seasons of Buffy up for free viewing.  Thank you Joss for making this sad little hotel a little better.

Am I a nerd.  No, but I have an empty cheeto pack next to me

WOW hard to blog :)

It isn't that I've been super lazy (which I have). It is only that I forgot how to get onto my account, and It took me months to finally get back on. Loads has happend since I was last here, but I'll just tell you what I've been doing today.

I am in Livonia, MI doing shows at Joey's comedy club this week. I am kind of stuck out in the boondocks of outer Detroit, but it is worth it due to how appreciative the crowds are here. When times are tough, people need laughter more.

Big Shout out to Alan Maxwell who Drove 2hours to catch the show, after seeing me in Grand Rapids a couple of months back.

I recommend that everyone go to ABC.com and watch the first three episodes of Better Of Ted. The creator of this show gave me my first big break, and he has put this really funny show out, so watch it!

That is all for now. I promise that I will be posting here as often as I can now that all is fixed!

OH! And I'm doing a huge East Coast Maritime Canadian tour with Investors Group starting in April. Can't wait

R